Does this one ring a bell? An advertising Champaign by Johnson&Johnson almost turned into a de facto motto – Having a baby changes everything. It scares the parents-to-bes by giving away what a baby would do to people's life: a baby shatters the focus of your world and replaces all the bits and parts with baby-giggling and baby-crying. But wait, there's another thing that will change a person's universe as badly as having a baby – getting a PhD. The truth is ------ it even changes your baby.

I had a plan to find a stable and decent job, to get my dog into agility after she's one year old, to save some cash in several years, buy a house, buy my dream car, completely settle down, and, most importantly, to have a baby, then another one, and live happily ever after with my family.

My beautiful vision-twenty is gone with the wind that blows a piece of paper into my mail box. The paper bore the watermark of the U of I, and it scared the heck out of me with an offer of a research assistantship in their double-E department for a PhD degree.

I wasn't planning on this. I have to admit that when I applied for the university I was more on the gambling side. The U of I is prestigious. It's a star too high in the sky that I never thought I could shoot. I have always been the 'big fish in a small pond'. Sometimes even just a mediocre fish. I have spent more time enjoying life and entertaining myself than doing research and reading textbooks. In high school, I ditched some classes just to hang out with my gang friends. My ears are always plugged with some BeiJing RocknRoll that I hardly concentrated on any lectures. When I went to college, I ditched more classes to travel, watch movies, play guitars and look for the meaning of life. I ended up working as an engineer who didn't deal with technical things, after graduation. Then I got into the graduate school. I worked hard in the first semester to cope with the new environment, and then unavoidably, I found out some tricks to complete the course work without spending much time. I started enjoying the free time again. In a nut-shell, I was not ready for any hard-working life. I AM SO SCARED. Sarcastically, here's where the destiny would just play a hard joke on me. It hit me hard. I have to get ready because of the offer, the once-in-a-lifetime fortune that fate has thrown on me. The U of I is just too good to be true and too lucky to refuse. Beneath my fear lies the extreme joy of being recognized as having what it takes to stand among the top researchers in U.S.

I have the intelligence, creativity, curiosity, and maturity. But these are absolutely not enough. I got to be tough and ready for defeat. I got to get used to a dull life-style without much spare time for hobbies and vacations. I got to learn to motivate myself constantly without external encouragements. I got to be competitive enough to compete with extremely bright peers. Most importantly, I got to start the mission NOW!

Getting a PhD changes everything, with myself being the first target, and my husband's life the second. After benefiting from the pleasure and happiness of having a housewife at home for half a year, he's facing the life of a weekday bachelor again. With my busy schedule, I won't be able to make him a life as cozy as before. But I doubt that he'll complain, as it's in our vows that he's my ever-lasting supporter. The next object is my smart dog, LooLoo. She's so smart and obedient that it's almost a crime to not train her and get her into competition. Regrettably, I just have to holdup her training schedule before I get that 'permanently damaged head'. Everything in my life has to wait for its turn. Sounds petrifying. Am I ready? Are you all ready??