PhD is known to be a condition called Permanent Head Damage. Some innocent people think it means 'Piled Higher & Deeper'; nonetheless this is simply not the truth. Permanent Head Damage, or PhD, is treated as a condition rather than an ailment because number 1, it's a disease that was chosen by the patients enthusiastically, and number 2, it has evolved into an epidemic that is emerging constantly throughout the world with no cure. It's fairly easy to recognize people with PhDs. They are the ones with big black circles around their eyes, gazing at a computer-monitor lover with fervor, and walking around in a daze as if their houses were just bulldozed by a mammoth.

The development of a PhD has two stages: pre-PhD and PhD. People that are suffering from pre-PhD are often called PhD students or PhD candidates. They are actually the lucky ones that still possess a glimpse chance of cure before the PhD becomes irreversibly permanent. A small portion of them were cured by having a baby, an undergraduate boyfriend, or a lawyer wife. However, such cases are pretty rare. Another group of pre-PhDs fight their own circumstances and switch back to normal people simply by getting a job. Oftentimes their amazing courage was galvanized by the fact that their college roommates are making millions of dollars at Wall Street. Unfortunately, there is always a big population of these pre-PhDs that runs across the final line, and becomes real PhDs.

Real PhDs possess the super capability of 'mind-cleaning'. As their heads are damaged, it's nothing but rational that they mop the terms that are irrelevant to their narrow point of view, often called their 'research interests', out of their brains. Some examples are 'killing some time', 'feed the ducks in the park', or 'hand-painting just for fun'. This early-stage symptom is regularly followed by vision estrangement. PhDs never see things the same as normal people. Some PhDs see Christmas lights on a house as waveforms on an oscilloscope. Others see the reversed 'R' on the Toys-R-us building as 'passive attention caused by perception'. When a PhD is exhilarated about his or her new findings, no more than three people on this planet could possibly understand why. PhDs worry about their kids on the swings – 'why aren't they playing brain-teasers'? They are startled to meet people who brag about their two-week vacation at Bahamas – 'Just how much guilty do they feel'?

In addition to alienation, people who suffer PhD more severely than others will obtain a state of living known by university professors as 'tenure'. The notorious tenure life is marked by its dead-water steadiness. 'A life-changing decision' dose not exist in the tenured galaxy. Tenure-holders are all extreme PhDs, whose universes have been reduced to a one-way tunnel with a never-be-known end. All they have to do is to dig in, look for answers, and never worry about planning the life.

To wrap it up, a PhD is SOMETHING. It's a journey with no destination filled with question marks and exclamation points. Sounds rather painful huh?